Yesterday was my birthday, and I wasn't going to eat any sweet treats. My co-workers helped me celebrate by bringing in fruit for me to eat during our celebratory luncheon. Someone also brought in Bundt-inis from Nothing Bundt Cake because, "I'm not going to let your diet ruin my fun!" I was good, I didn't have a little bundt cake, I ate the fruit and enjoyed it, but all afternoon I couldn't stop craving cake.
Last evening, we went out for a birthday dinner, and my husband encouraged me to order wine with dinner, "C'mon it's your birthday." But again, I was good, and I abstained.
We had a coupon from Coldstone Creamery for a free cake, so my husband ordered a cake for my birthday. It was "super tricked out," he said, with all sorts of mix-ins from brownie bits, Kit Kat bar pieces, and caramel swirls, and covered with a decadent looking chocolate ganache. This, I couldn't resist. All of my inner voices, the saboteur, the food controller, the food indulger, and the isolator (I'll explain those in another post) all compelled me to have a piece of cake, "just this one time." So, I did, and I felt guilty about it, immediately after! I'm not even sure I enjoyed it, sure it tasted good, but I didn't enjoy it, and it left me with a heavy feeling in my stomach.
This morning I knew the scale was going to be bad, and it was... up 1.2 lbs from yesterday. I'm not sure what else to say. I have mixed emotions. On the one hand, why should I feel guilty about having cake on my birthday? On the other, I shouldn't have caved, I know better, I knew this would happen. And now the weekend is upon me, a time when I always seem to struggle to maintain my weight for a few days let alone lose any.
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