Focus, Julie-san

A recent vlog message from Susan Thomspon ("SPT") which gets sent via email everyday as part of the 14-Day Challenge suggests the following: "If you focus on the bright lines, you will lose the weight; if you focus on losing the weight, you'll lose the bright lines."  Her entry is partly about how often you should weigh yourself, especially when trying to lose weight.  I, like so many people I know, hate weighing myself.  And, before I started this program 9 days ago, I couldn't tell you the last time I stood on a scale. Even at the doctor's office earlier this month, I looked away from the number and told the nurse not to say it out loud.  In fact, it took me 2 days to work up the courage to actually step on the scale in my bathroom so I could get that all-important starting weight.  Since then, I've weighed myself every morning except one.  The question I'm wrestling with is how often I should continue to weigh myself: daily, weekly or monthly.  SPT suggests if you have hundred(s) of pounds to lose, then you should probably only weigh yourself monthly, so you don't get bogged down in the daily fluctuations.  I count myself fortunate that I don't have hundred(s) of pounds to lose.  

So far, the scale has either stayed the same or gone down each morning to the tune of 4 lbs "released" as they say in BLE-speak.  And, I'm content with that, right now.  I'm wondering, however, if I should start weighing myself weekly, so that I don't get bogged down in the daily plus or minus 0.2-0.5 differences.  I'm definitely conflicted.  On the one hand, as long as the scale stays the same or goes down each morning, even slightly, I feel motivated that this way of eating is working, and it makes it easy to commit to following the bright lines for another day because I can tell myself, "see, it's making a difference!"  On the other hand, the minutia of such small differences, isn't all that exhilarating, and when the day comes (and I know it's coming) that the scale goes in the opposite direction, I worry that I might sabotage myself.  Maybe I would rather see a total difference of 2-4 lbs once a week?  I just don't know...

Friends, how often do you weigh yourself? Does your routine differ depending on whether you're trying to lose weight or maintain it?  Comment below!

Gah! This is why my job makes me fat!

Another day at the office means, another day of dodging sweet treats.  Today's yummy looking treat is called a cartooci, and according to my co-worker who brought in a box of them, a cartooci is a cross between a cannoli and a donut. I am employing all of Susan Thompson's coping strategies at once, mediating, repeating the mantras one after the other: thatisnotmyfood, that'snotfood,that'spoison, nomatterwhatdon'teatthat, don'teatthatnomatterwhat. I'm also avoiding the conference room where they're sitting, and I'm drinking water to curb the mouth-watering sensation going on in my mouth.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle.  I recently hit on this article that confirms that my job is making me fat because according to a federal study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, American workers "acquire" almost 1300 extra calories per week at work, and these calories are acquired from foods that have limited nutritional value such as pizza, cake, cookies, brownies, donuts, and candy, just to name a few. Yep, those are the prevailing treats regularly brought to my office setting. 

Today, I'm not going to eat one... I won't even have one bite, lick or taste of this cartooci or any other sweet treat that might find its way to our conference room table.  Today, cartooci's are not my food, and I'm not going to eat that no matter what, no matter what I'm not going to eat that because it's not food, it's poison. 

But the sweet treats that are brought into the office are not the only reasons my job may have contributed to my weight gain, there are plenty of other contributing factors: hours of sitting, stress, eating out for lunch, office parties, and eating from my colleague's bottomless candy jar. Making changes with respect to those factors is also something I'm working on as I continue doing this BLE program. 

So friends, how do you cope with the office food culture?

Edited and updated Wednesday, Jan. 29: Today's offering, muffins from Ridley's. Gah! Help!

Meal Plan Monday

Meal planning is one of the most important aspects of any weight loss program that I’ve ever taken part in, and BLE is no exception. If you don’t plan ahead, then you set yourself up for failure when you’re scrambling to find something to eat.  With VIP, the meal plan was simple to follow because there was little to no variation, I ate the same thing for each breakfast, each lunch, and each dinner for the entire 6 weeks of each of the 2 challenges I did (so a total of 12 weeks). Again, the rule follower in me initially liked that about the plan, my brain didn’t have to think about what I was going to eat and buy at the store because it was all laid out for me, but once I was done with the program, it was hard for me to continue eating those same foods. I didn’t want to eat the same food over and over again; I didn’t learn how to make better choices.  Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see that the VIP meal plan wasn’t all that different than the BLE food plan, the biggest difference is how it’s framed in my brain.  I have rules to follow, and as long as I’m making food choices within the rules, then I can build in some variety.  Side note: yes, I’m aware that my own meal plan is rather repetitive, but that’s a function of me still trying to figure out what works within the plan and me liking certain foods. E.g. When I get sick of clementines, I know that I don’t have to keep eating them, I can and will buy something different.

The BLE program doesn’t necessarily have you meal plan for a whole week, as I have, in fact the program has you do it each night, but for grocery shopping purposes, I have planned out the weekdays so I have the right foods in my kitchen.  This way, I can switch some things around as the week progresses as I re-evaluate the plan each night.

What does your meal plan look like? Here's mine.

"I can't lose weight without exercising!"

“Doctor,” I said after he told me I need to lose weight, “I’ve never been able to lose weight by changing my diet alone, I’ve tried that. I can’t lose weight without exercising, and I can’t exercise because of my bad back.  I can’t even walk around the block! Some mornings I can barely get out of bed.”  In the least condescending tone that he could muster, my doctor responded, “Well, you can and should be able to lose weight without exercising if you change your diet and do it the right way.  There’s a program I’d like you to check out called ‘Bright Lines.’ I'm giving you homework to do. I’ve had several patients tell me about their success.  Please look into it. Here, I’ll even write it down for you so won’t forget.”  And that’s how my BLE journey began.

I even kept the sticky note.

Today’s video message from Susan Thompson (“SPT”) addresses my initial apprehension about this weight loss program; that is, my thinking that I need to incorporate exercise.  She, however, favors “uncoupling” exercise and weight loss. To be clear, SPT is not anti-exercise, her argument is that for now, I should be focusing on the bright lines until this new way of eating and thinking about food becomes “automatic.” The time for exercise comes after the weight is gone.  She says that the time spent losing weight should be “brief and exhausting.”   So exhausting that your stores of “willpower” are depleted, and when you add the time and effort it takes to exercise, that effort inhibits your ability to be successful with the eating part. 

While I’m still skeptical, I do see where this argument may have some merit as I draw on my past experience with VIP fitness.  I literally  (ok, maybe figuratively) broke my back getting out the door 5 mornings a week at 5:05 am to make the 45 minute workout class that started at 5:30 am.  Then I would race home, shower, get myself and the kids ready and off to school so I could be at work by 8:00 am.  By the time I sat down in my office chair, most mornings I felt like I had already put in a full day’s worth of work.  It was, as SPT suggests, exhausting, and ultimately unsustainable for me. The meal plan with the VIP fitness program was simple to follow and left no room for variation, so that was easy to follow, but again not something I could sustain. Though I successfully lost weight with VIP, in the end, my body looked deflated, not at all “fit.” Though I was thin(ner), I still didn’t feel that I looked all that great when I stood naked in front of a mirror.  So, maybe there is something to SPT’s suggestion that I should concentrate on getting my “diet” under control first, and worry about how, when, and what to do about exercising later.

What do you think about the “conscious uncoupling” (credit Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin) of diet and exercise?

Throwback Thursday

Wow! Reading back through my old posts yesterday, really got me thinking about my patterns.  My description of myself yesterday as "consistently inconsistent" is spot on!  I wanted to share a throwback picture of a time when I think I looked really good.  It's not a full body shot, but from my face and facial expression, I can tell I'm relaxed, confident, and young... not even 40 yet!  Below is a picture of me from August of 2008.  I'm not entirely sure of my weight at this point, if I had to guess, I'd say I was around 130/135 lbs. If I had something akin to an inspiration photo, this would definitely be one.

Bonus points to anyone who's reading this post and can guess who's wedding I'm attending in this photo. Wendy, Teena, and Lisa, you were there... that's a major hint!

The next throwback photo I'm sharing is from January of 2016, after I lost weight on the VIP fitness program.  This one is a full body shot, and again looking at the expression on my face, I look happy and confident, and bonus... my stomach is flat! I'd have to confirm, but in this photo I'm definitely below 130 lbs, probably 125/127 lbs. I wasn't yet at my goal weight (in fact, if I'm being honest I never actually made it to my ultimate goal because in February of that year, I started having the first inkling of back pain.  I chalked it up to working out too much so I "took a break," a break that lasted until, well... until now).

TODAY'S BLE TAKEAWAY

Switching gears now (how's that for a transition...), as part of the 14 Day BLE challenge that I started, one of the components is watching a daily video from the founder of the program, Susan Thompson.  One of my takeaways from this morning's video was the following statement: "Behavior is always preceded by a thought."  For example, before you eat something, you think about whether you're going to eat it.  In this program I'm not supposed to eat sugar.  Susan reminds us that willpower alone is not enough to keep from eating a sugary item, so she's come up with three different mantras I can use as part of the "thought process."  

Mantra 1: Don't eat (drink) that no matter what, no mater what don't eat (drink) that.

Mantra 2: That's not my food (drink)! ("NMF" in BLE speak).

Mantra 3: That's not food (drink), that's poison.  

The last mantra seemed harsh to me at first, but Susan goes on to explain that sugar is a "chronic, dose dependent, hepatotoxin."  If I understood her explanation of hepatotoxin correctly, this means that fructose (such as table sugar, beet sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, etc.) is processed in the liver, and any excess fructose is stored there until the body needs to use it. If too much is stored, it gets released into the blood stream as fat globs called triglycerides which end up lining the arteries and causing heart problems, etc. Hence, it is toxic to the body. Flour is also a toxin, except flour is not solely processed in the liver, so it's not a hepatotoxin.

I'm going to try to employ these "think first" mantras for those times when I'm tempted to drink a glass of wine with dinner or sneak a piece of chocolate from my colleague's candy dish. Do you have any tips, tricks or mantras that you use to keep yourself from eating something you shouldn't?  I'd love to hear them!  Comment below!

Look who's back... back again!

If you’re reading this post, let me start off by saying “thank you.”  You all know that I’ve been a consistently inconsistent dieter and exerciser for the last 10 years. You may recall that I successfully completed the VIP fitness program in late 2015 where I lost 36 lbs.  I’m sure none of you will be surprised to learn that I have gained back 30 of those 36 lbs.  I have nothing bad to say about the program, it was simply unsustainable for the long term, and as soon as I returned to more normal eating patterns, the weight came right back on.  What that program did for me, however, was prove that I could do it.  I could stick with a program and be successful at losing weight, something that I had not been able to do previously. 

Over the last 5 years, as my weight started to creep back up, I’ve tried to replicate the success I had with VIP to no avail.  Then, three years ago I started having issues with chronic back pain, ending up in the hospital in March of 2018 and again in April of 2019.  The back pain is far from resolved and in fact after months of physical therapy, 6 rounds of pain injections, and a rhizotomy ablation that has not afforded me the desired relief, I know back surgery is in the offing for me. 

Recently, I visited my doctor for my annual exam, and for the first time he told me it’s time to lose weight.  Though I’ve tipped the scales at more than I weigh now, this is the first time a doctor has ever told me to lose weight.  I complained to him about my back, and I told him that I can’t exercise because of it, announcing that “I can’t even walk around the block!”  I also advised him that I can’t lose weight by changing my diet alone, I’ve tried that in the past, but it doesn’t work unless I incorporate exercise.  He listened to my tale of woe excuses, and said that he hears that all the time, but it isn’t true, saying “You can and should lose weight by changing your diet, if you do it right.”  He then suggested that I look into a program called Bright Lines Eating (“BLE”) which was developed by a scientist named Susan Peirce Thompson. When I visited the website, two things struck me: 1) this program seems tailor-made for a “rule follower” like me, and 2) it isn’t really a diet, it’s a way of eating and thinking about food.

Though I found some negative online reviews about this program, I’ve decided to give it a try anyway, it comes recommended by my own doctor who I trust, so there must be at least some merit to the program. I downloaded a copy of Susan Thompson’s book from the library and purchased the 14 day trial program. When I’m done with that, I may decide to join an 8 week “BLE Boot Camp” or I can keep going at it on my own. I’ve calculated that I need at least 10 weeks to get to my “goal weight” or as Susan Thompson refers to it, my “right sized body,” a phrase which I kind of like.

A Brief Summary of the Bright Line Eating Program

The program is really straight-forward with 4 main pillars or “bright lines.”  For the rule-follower in me, these “bright lines” or “rules” make sense. Here they are:

1.    No sugar.  This rule really means no “added” sugar of any kind, and it also means no artificial sweeteners, natural sweeteners, honey, maple syrup, agave or the like.  If sugar or some other sweetener is listed as one of the first 3 ingredients in a product, do not eat it.

2.    No flour of any kind.  This includes almond flour, rice flour, whole wheat flour, and any other flour.  Susan points out that the plant that the flour comes from is not the issue, it’s the processing used to create the “flour” that is problematic. As with sweeteners, if the word flour is in the first 3 ingredients of a product, it’s not allowed.  

3.    No snacking; Eat only 3 meals at regular meal times.  Snacking between meals, after dinner or before a meal starts is off-limits.  This rule runs contrary to some other programs that suggest you should graze all day to keep your metabolism running.  This no snacking rule also prohibits bites, licks, and tastes (“BLTs”) while you are preparing a meal. According to Susan, the first bite of a meal should be when you sit down to eat. This rule is a hard one for me to follow, I’m constantly taking bites here and there as I make the kids’ lunches or make dinner for the family. I’m also guilty of eating while cleaning up after dinner… for example, a bite of chicken left on a kid’s plate, a few bites of spaghetti left in the strainer which is not enough to save, but I don’t want to see it go to waste.  These are the BLTs that add up to excess, unwanted calories.

4.    Quantities.  The BLE weight-loss plan specifies which foods from which food groups and their quantities you should eat for each meal. These food groups are protein, fruit, veggie, and fat. I’ll post a list of foods from each food group later.

5.    No alcohol.  I said there were only 4 rules, but I’m including a fifth in my list. Susan Thompson lumps alcohol with the “No Sugar” rule because the body processes alcohol the same way it processes sugar, but for my rule-follower brain, I need a specific “bright line” for alcohol, especially wine.  I had already decided at the end of last year that I would follow the recent “Dry January” trend, so at least initially the no alcohol has not been an issue for me.

Let me be clear, I know in my heart of hearts, that I will not be able to give up wine or alcohol for the rest of my life.  And perhaps that mind-set is setting me up for failure, but this is my journey.  What I’ve taken from the research I’ve done regarding BLE is that for today (and until February 6), I have committed to the “No alcohol” rule. I don’t know what the future will bring, but for today, I am committed, and I am committed to re-commit each day. That’s all any of us can do… live for today, because for each of us, tomorrow is not guaranteed. To help with this daily re-commitment, the BLE program offers some strategies.

Commitment Strategies

1.         Meal plan in a food journal the night before. One of the more important aspects of this way of eating is to plan ahead and then follow the plan without deviating from it.  The “without deviating” part of the rule is especially hard for me.  All I can say is, I am doing my best not to deviate, and if I have the right foods in my fridge, it makes it easier to follow the plan and less likely to fail. This part of the program isn’t all that different from other programs, like WW, that have you track your food throughout the day, I’ve tried that, unsuccessfully.  Here, the food journaling or tracking is reversed, you do it ahead of time and commit to following it. Again, my rule-following brain likes to have a plan to follow. 

2.         Wake up, meditate, and set your intention for the day. I actually love this strategy. Since last March, I’ve had real difficulty getting out of bed in the morning because of my back pain.  The only way I could get out of bed was by doing some stretching exercises I learned in physical therapy.  When therapy ended in September, I continued doing these stretching exercises.  Later, I started doing Yin Yoga, and now I incorporate a 15-20 minute Yoga routine into my morning upon waking.  Because I was doing that anyway, it was easy to add meditation and intention setting into my morning Yoga routine. I have to get up earlier than I would like, but I enjoy this routine so much, I don’t mind the early alarm.

3.         Be accountable. This is where you all come in to play.  The BLE program encourages participants to be public with their commitment. I’m certain that this is simply a marketing strategy for BLE to gain more participants. So let me be clear, I’m not asking anyone to buy anything or join me in the program, I’m simply looking for people to share my experience with me because I do believe there’s merit to the accountability portion.   

4.         Keep track. Keeping track of my progress is another aspect of this program that I enjoy.  I started sporadically keeping a bullet journal in June of 2016.  I re-committed to this way of journaling in October of 2019 and have kept up with it consistently since then.  Now, I’ve incorporated the tenets of BLE into my bullet journal.  There’s something satisfying about seeing my daily progress in black and white, or in my color scheme, blue and red. I’ll write a bullet journal post later.

This post has gotten pretty long, so if you made it this far, again I’ll say “Thank you!”  If you did make it this far, please post a comment below so I know who you are. After writing all of this, it occurred to me that I should add 2 more rules based on my personal experiences: 1) Drink water. This rule is a carry-over from VIP fitness.  BLE talks about the importance of drinking water in order to flush out the toxins in your body, but it’s not really emphasized, and I couldn’t find a specific amount to drink.  I’ll have to go back and look at my VIP notes to see how much water Jerry recommends, as of this writing I couldn’t find it. The last rule I’m adding is “Don’t Quit Trying.”  This rule is modified from an old “Quit Smoking” campaign, “Don’t Quit Quitting.” Not that I’ve ever been a smoker, but I think the sentiment works in this instance; It’s ok not be perfect, just don’t give up trying to be.

Alomst there, but not quite

I know, I know, it's been awhile since I've checked in.  I also know that I say that a lot... but, I'm still here, and I'm still plugging away at this weight loss journey.  I have not had nearly the success that I had in the first challenge, but I'm ok with that.  I've lost a measly five (5) pounds (net) in the last 5 weeks.  This past week,  I barely lost any weight hat's because we spent the MLK weekend in Florida at Disney World, Universal, and Sea World... not exactly the healthiest places on Earth.  I had hoped to do better than that, frankly, but it is what it is.

Final weigh-in is on Saturday, and it's highly unlikely that I will lose the last 15 lbs even as I subsist on fish and asparagus and then fast on Friday.  Frankly,  I think it was the fish and asparagus that doomed me last time and set me up for failure this time.  As you may recall, I lost about 8 pounds in the last week, and then gained most of it back.  I started this second challenge in a pretty deep hole because my starting weight for the second challenge was my final weight at the end of the last challenge.  In essence, I had to lose over 25 lbs for this challenge. The way I look at it, though, if I had deferred this challenge to February, I probably would have been up at least 7 lbs.  Moreover, it's hard to be disappointed in a total weight loss, to date, of almost 30 lbs.

So, I keep thinking about what's next for me.  I've found a schedule and a routine that I like and can manage pretty well.  Getting up as early as I do, does not interfere with my family time... mostly it just interferes with my sleep. 

I really like most things about VIP, except the price.  Because I'm unlikely to make my 20 lb weight loss, I will not get my money back.  Again, that's ok.  I never really expected to "get my money back," I was hoping to be able to continue working out either by rolling the money I paid up front into purchasing a membership or doing figure camp.  I'm kind of off the figure camp idea, especially because I haven't lost enough weight.  I'm not sure what my options will be in terms of purchasing a membership.  I've heard from others at VIP that it is expensive.  Given that VIP is not a traditional gym, only boot camp classes are offered, for me it seems expensive to spend almost $200 per month for a membership. But, we'll see.  If they offer me a deal of some sort, I will consider it.

I'm also considering some alternative workout facilities.  I recently purchased a Groupon to try Xtend Barre.  I went with a friend last weekend, and the HIIT (high intensity interval training) class that I went to was just as intense as any class at VIP.  I haven't tried the actual Barre classes, but from everything I've heard, those are tough too, in a different way.  They also offer something called Xtend Suspension, which I'm told is using the TRX, which I love.  I've registered for about 10 classes for the month of February and it only cost me $53, that should give me a pretty good idea of whether I want to continue doing that. 

After Xtend Barre, I plan to give Orange Theory a try.  The concept of this facility, which happens to be located in the same complex as the Xtend Barre facility, looks pretty cool.  I'm a little concerned about the idea of running given the issues I have with my numb leg, but I want to give it a try. It's also a bit on the pricey side  ranging from $15 to 25 per class depending on which package you buy.  I'm also not sure how many days a week they will suggest.

I guess that's it for now.  I'll check back in on Saturday after the final weigh-in, who knows, maybe I'll be surprised. No matter what, I'm thrilled with my accomplishments and look forward to trying to lose these last 10 pounds albeit at my own pace.